7.27.22 Alone

I am terrified. The thought of being alone. Of giving up control. Of walking into the unknown, it terrifies me. What am I going to miss? What will I have to give up? I feel like I am going to have to let go of my dreams. Lose more of the people I love than I've already lost. I feel so alone. So scared. And there is no one here to console me. Everyone in my life has either kicked me out, told me I am too traumatic for them, or was told to stay out of it. I don't want to be alone when I am in so much pain. My inner child just wants to be held and told that it's going to be OK. I'm scared. I don't know if I have the energy to do that for her. I don't know if I will be OK. So many decisions have to be made and I don't know what to choose, which one will be the right one? I am terrified.