Updated: Oct 15, 2022
I've always wondered what peace felt like. Will I be at peace when the voices in my head are gone? Or when I stop crawling out of my skin to escape the monster within?
Or maybe peace is happiness, that weightless feeling you get when you run so fast you can't even breathe.
Is peace death? Is peace feeling nothing at all?
I think somewhere deep down I am scared of peace. Scared to be happy, scared to be free.
Or maybe I am scared that I will never be free. As I was told, I need to stop trying to get rid of the monster and start learning to live with it. I'm not sure what is worse, facing the quite, or walking around with my anxiety shackled to me for the rest of my life.
I just want to be happy and free.