10.26.22 Lightness

It’s weird. This feeling that I feel. It’s an emptiness - but not a negative one. It’s more of a lightness. Something I haven’t felt in the longest time. Or maybe I’ve never felt like this before. It’s strange. Not feeling like there is a boulder on my chest every time I take a breath. Not feeling like there is the weight of the world on my shoulders. Not feeling like I am being swept up in a storm of confusion or feeling like I’m being pulled under by harsh waves.

It’s weird. This feeling that I feel. Humming in the car. Caring how I look before leaving the house. Seeing my reflection smiling back at me.

But it’s definitely something I can get used to.

In a way, I’m almost holding my breath. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the pain to come crashing in. Waiting for the familiar ache to sweep me away. But until then, you'll see me living, and maybe even smiling.