You have no idea how much it takes to make the call. To ask for help. Fingers moving back and forth, lingering over the send button. To call or not to call. Calling means admitting to you, and to them, that you're not okay. That you need help. There is fear in the disappointment you assume you're going to hear when they answer the phone. There is a pain to the vulnerability that you might not be heard or validated; that they just won't get it. There is a shame in admitting that despite all your efforts, you still are back here, again.
And yet, you do the most courageous thing in the world and hit send.