1.20.23 Perfect

I saw an article yesterday called, "Five Types of Perfectionists and Why They Succeed". I can assure you that the sound I made after seeing that headline was nothing pleasant. I didn’t bother opening the article. If I had, I imagine it would’ve said something like this: the reason why perfect people succeed is because they set the bar so freaking high. It’s not like we do a good job and move on. We have to put our all into every single thing we do. Unless we achieve absolute perfection, we are never going to be satisfied. It is so hard to find happiness in this life because no matter what, we are always thinking that we are not good enough, we are always thinking that we could have done better.

Today, while cleaning my kitchen, I was reflecting on how people had told me that they are jealous

that I like to clean; that things always look neat in my house. To me, those people are the lucky ones. When they take the time to clean and put in the effort, they are satisfied. They can take pleasure in the clear countertops and enjoy the aroma of freshly cleaned wood floors.

When I clean my house, it is sparkling. My house is most likely cleaner than theirs. But, I will never walk away from my clean kitchen and think "I did a perfect job". I will never walk away satisfied. Do you know how hard it is to live a life where nothing you do is good enough?

You have no idea what it's like to never be able to take pride in a job well done. As soon as one project is complete, as soon as you hit that nearly unattainable goal, you are already on the next one.

My kitchen is clean, no - my kitchen is sparkling. But to me, my kitchen isn't good enough. I can’t put up my feet and enjoy a coffee after a morning of hard work.

No, my mind is already running to the next thing that needs to be done perfectly.

Trust me when I say perfect is not that perfect.